I resigned unexpectedly from my job today.
My intention had been to go part-time from October until December (while training others to take over and also establishing a fairly steady flow of freelance editing work) and leave at the end of the year. But when I spoke to the boss about it after lunch, it turned out it wasn't that simple to create a part-time post or to find funding for another person in a post that was already occupied. And it was difficult for him to figure out a way forward until he had my decision in writing, whatever it might be. So the obvious thing seemed to be to resign (it being month-end and all, there wasn't much time to faff around).
As I drafted my notice, with a weird sense of detached calm, the cautious headvoices started trilling and yodelling that I shouldn't be too hasty. And yet I have so much freelance work piling up right now, and so little spare time after work, that it seemed irresponsible not to free up my time to meet those commitments. Wish I could do that sooner, as the tightest deadlines are looming right now, but a month's notice is required.
Reason (peering through his dark-rimmed glasses) says I'm in no position to give up the security of a full-time job at this point... but when I was praying though the idea of dropping to part-time over the past few days, my sense was that I could take the leap into the unknown and trust that I would be held and carried. And that this was not a time for calculating what might or might not be coming in in the next year or so. (The present freelance jobs are for September and October, with one possibly extending to November. Hardly a guarantee of financial security!)
Anyway, I duly handed over my letter to my somewhat surprised CEO and later went off to a party for five colleagues who all had birthdays this month. I returned home to find an email asking whether I might be interested in helping to develop some resource materials for a faith-based environmental organisation. Wow - would I! And how's that for timing! Nothing definite yet, but it looks like the kind of work I might have dreamt up if I'd allowed myself to dream. And with people I like. Yessss!
So I'm glad I took that somewhat scary leap today, because 'underneath are the everlasting arms'.
I'm grateful and excited - and must now get to work as I have several seriously heavy pages of over-writing to plough through. Deadline tomorrow!
October 09 - Life's still in flux
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Much later, and I've finally figured out the passwords etc to get into this
blog. I've been hanging out on Facebook a lot, but have decided to revive
this ...
16 years ago